Slam Poetry for a certain someone

We had to write a slam poem, this was what came to me.
Some things are hard to say to a persons face, so i wrote this to get my feelings across. it was for a certain someone, but it applies to everyone.

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I want to help
I do
Stop messing with me
Why wont you just let me help you
Why do I constantly worry?
I want to know all your problems
But I don’t
I don’t want to hear them
I fear them
Fear what they will do to me
When they find me
And cause me to be anxious
Your well being
Is making me shudder
I want to fix it
But I'm not your mother
It’s not my place
I know
Don’t blame me
I just want what's best
What would I know?
Its you life not mine
You say your feeling fine
But I know your not
I want to be of service
But you push me away
My mind is going crazy
Everything is hazy
I'm in a maze
Filled with twists and turns
But they don’t mean a thing
All that is here is me
And you
You
Not just a face in the crowd
But beautiful significant you
Everything about you is amazing
You just don’t realize it
But I wish you did
I love you
I say this as a friend
No other way possible
You are everything, you say its nothing
Your blind
Don’t undermine your ability
With all this frivolity
You are perfect.

I'm not kidding like we do all the time
Having fake competitions
While trying to unwind
I never meant what I said then
I pray
Neither did you
Which is why I emphasize
That what is perfect, is you.

Fear, Its always Fear

Don't you hate how afraid we are?

No, not of the dark.
And no, not of heights.
And no, not even of spiders.

I mean of... well, everything.

Every little thing we do, we're always afraid. We don't always notice it, but we are. We watch our words, afraid of offending someone or saying something that might cause someone's opinion of us to change, even if only by a tiny little bit. We're constantly biting our tongues to keep from saying the wrong thing, the wrong words.

We’re always walking on our tiptoes, watching our thoughts, and biting our tongues.

We’re scared.
We’re always scared.

Scared to say or do the wrong thing.
Scared of rejection.
Scared of offending someone.
Scared of letting someone see the real you.

Aren't we taught to grow up and overcome our fears? Don't they, our teachers, parents, and relatives, teach us to not be scared? Then why are we stuck in this state of constant fear? It's hypocritical, too. They teach us that we shouldn't be afraid, that we should see the light past our fears, and all the while they're sitting there in the corner, shaking in their boots over saying something wrong, not living up to expectations, or screwing up.

I think that's the biggest fear of all, screwing up.

But "screwing up" covers so much. There's so much we can screw up. We can screw up something as minor as a quiz and as major as someone's life. But I think we're all afraid of simply appearing as a screw up in the eyes of someone we hold near and dear. Losing respect, we always fear. We want respect nearly as much as we want love.

Love.

God, that's another big fear isn't it?

The fear of losing love.
The fear of falling in love.
The fear of never finding love.

There's always something to fear in the game of love. Am I doing something wrong? What if they don't like me? What's wrong with me? I wonder if they do like me? I hate being alone. Will I always be alone? I don't want to be like this, alone, forever. I couldn't take that. I can't take this. I'll never find love, I know it. Maybe love isn't meant for me. I'm just another helpless case…

Once we learn the word and notion of love, isn't it practically always in our mind somewhere? In some manner or another, I mean? And from that notion stems all of these fears that multiply every day…

… or maybe that's just me…

Anyway, I hate how afraid we all are.

We bottle up so much. So many feelings are hidden and kept secret forever, swept under a rug in our minds and left there for eternity. The honest words are usually the ones swooshed away to save us from screwing up, and the false words always tend to prevail.

It's sad, isn't it?

Shouldn't it be the other way around?

I think it should.

I'm not scared enough to keep from saying that.

~~The Sometimes Brave Pixie

OMG! TOTES INFECTED

So I know I complain a lot, but I've been on a kind of hiatus for a while so you haven't heard a real rant of mine in, well, basically half a year. You're long overdue for my complaints, aren't you? I think so. You have missed them, haven't you?

You better say yes. ;)

I know I've missed writing them. But, then again, I haven't had all that much to vent about lately. I mean, sure, there have been little things from time to time that I had to get off my chest, but those were too pathetic to post online. They only would've wasted your time, to be completely honest. It was nothing of interest to any of you, I'm sure. And they were almost a little too girly, even for me.

Anyway, you know what I hate?

Overly exaggerated people.

You know the ones I'm talking about. Those people who make a big deal out of something as small and insignificant as a crumb. Everything is amazing or OMG-worthy, and they always act so fucking surprised by everything. They're overly dramatic, too. They walk down the hall at school and every single friend they see they must run over and greet with a great big hug as if they haven't seen one another in decades.

Gag me with a spoon.

They're so flaky and fake acting and ugh!

Everything they do is so over exaggerated that you never know when to take them seriously.
And have you noticed that these kinds of people "LOVE" everything? OMG, LIKE REALLY THEY TOTES DO!

Yah, well, I love my Internet.

Or, I mean, I TOTES LOVE MY INTERNET, OMG!! I HAVEN'T SEEN IT IN, LIKE, FOREVER, OMG!!

-_-"

~~Infected Pixie

Family Portrait

You say we dont believe
because we arent quite like you.
You say we dont believe
just because you do.

you act like everything you've done
is wasted on us.
you act like everything I've done
could never help us.

You think everything in life
just has to be perfect.
You must think everything in life
is the opposite of me.

you told me you wouldn't cry
was it because of your pride?
yet all I could do was cry
it hurt too much inside.

You say we dont believe
because we aren't quite like you.
You say we dont believe

But who do you think i pray to
when you say you are gonna leave.

New blog.

Every One.

I would like to introduce my newest friend.

Paper Dresses.

My new blog. Dont worry i will continue writing this blog as well, but i strongly encourage checking out my other blog, I post daily, so there is always something to follow.

here is the link.

www.paperdresses.blogspot.com

enjoy

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~~PMP

Brilliant.

I just came home from watching "Julie and Julia" and do you know what I realized?

This blog sucks.

I mean really, who wants to read this? When have I written about anything anyone (besides my friends and family) would want to read?

Have you guys read "Cake Wrecks" its hilarious! Which is why I have decided to write about something.

After all, here I am, expecting all of you to care what I had for breakfast. Well no more.

You heard me. From now on I'll write about something relevant.

Something with interest.

Something like...

...

...

ok, I admit. That's as far as I got.

But I promise, as soon as I think of something, I'll write about it.

How hard can it be to think of something. Im sure there are plenty of things I have interest in which I could write about.


Ladies and Gentlemen, it is times like these which I realize, I am kinda pathetic.

Wait a minute, I've got it! All I had to do was glance over my shoulder, and there it is.

The glorious, messy pile of fashion magazines, sitting on the bench near my desk.

Teen Vogue. Seventeen. Elle. Fashion Illustrated.

Starting today, I will write a new blog. Following my pursuit of amazing fashion.

Well, it seems i have to go make a new blog.

till next time.
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~~Inspired Pixie

Boring alert!

Friday already?

well, you guys were lucky, this week, i have so many things I could talk about!

unfortunately, in the last hour i have become a little depressed, and I'm not in the mood to tell all my hilarious encounters.

you see today was the last day of an acting workshop I took during July. this was my second year attending, and my last.

And well, I feel almost like I'm leaving something behind.

As I walked through the subway station to head home, i just had this overwhelming feeling of regret. The thing is, I don't know why yet.

So i feel confused, and a little depressed, all at the same time.

FML.

(Sorry that this post is so boring, but i needed at least one post this week, and I would have posted earlier but the performance took over my life a bit)

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~~Boring Pixie

Regrets

I dont want to go out today.

I just want to sit in my room and sulk.

And yet here I am, putting on my make-up, getting ready to face the world.
You know, I never really thought about why I wear make-up, every day.

Why I won't leave the house without.

then I realized, I'm not putting on make-up. I'm putting on a face. Becoming someone else.
someone confident, someone without any regrets.

And god, do I regrets.

I regret rushing into everything, and making assumptions, and never thinking anything over until its too late.

I regret hurting the people who care, and helping the people who don't.

And most of all, I hate that I can never do anything about it.



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~~Dissapointed Pixie

excuses, excuses

ok, ok I know you guys hate me for not blogging last Friday, but i have an excuse!

I did blog, on Monday!....but then i deleted it because It was mean and the people i was talking about read my blog, therefore, not a good idea to blog about them.

hehe :P

so here is my slightly late blog post!

sorry that I'll be a little late with my blogs right now, my life is being taken over by the musical I am in right now.

seriously, I go to bed at 9, almost every night!

well, that's all I had to say, farewell!

until next week (or Friday)
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~~ profound pixie

a promise is a promise

you know how I said that I would ALWAYS post once a week? well a promise is a promise, here is your weekly post!

But I would like to clarify one thing, Although I promised to post something, I did not say it would be any good!

ABSOLUTELY nothing of interest has occured as of yet, so I have virtually nothing to talk about.

but never the less, here is my post.

ehem.

"I hate bugs"

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~~Predict Me Pixie

twitter

That's right, I caved.

I officially have a twitter account.
yes, i am ashamed. yes, i am in fact a little dead inside. and yes, I am addicted.

It is useful for getting news on my favourite bands and stuff , since I have yet to get any of my friend's accounts.

and...oh my god. I'm like a talking twitter commercial or something O.o

kill me!!

oh, and here is a link!
http://twitter.com/PredictMePixie

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~~Corrupted Pixie

confession

Confessing is hard. Sometimes, things happen that weren't supposed to. Sometimes, things just get out of hand, and it becomes hard to stop it.

Well, I did manage to end my problem. And let me tell you, it hurts like hell.

You see, In English class we were working on our poetry unit. and I LOVE poetry. Our teacher wanted us to write a poem in class, and usually I have no problem with this, but for some reason, I couldn't think. So i took a song that was in my head and made some stupid changes, and voila . a poem.

The thing is everyone loved it. My teacher made me submit it into our school literary magazine, he was offering extra marks, so I said yes.

Well, the magazine was entered into some contest, we didn't win but the magazine which our school magazine was submitted to loved my poem to.
So they asked to use it in their next issue of their magazine.

That's when things got out of hand. Because, I really wanted to say yes!

you know, just because I wanted to feel special. who doesn't?

But i kept thinking, what if someone finds out? what if they know it wasn't mine?

so i told the magazine fine, use my poem, but let it stay anonymous. I thought, if I did that, no one would know.

Then I told my mom that i was planning to submit it anonymously, and she said I shouldn't because I would be missing out on alot of opportunities.

So i asked my dad. and he said "well, was it original?"

and that's all it took.

I confessed, and told him everything.

And it was really hard, because it makes you feel incredibly worthless. then i had to go, and email back the magazine that I wouldn't let them use the poem. And I just felt so stupid. And I hate it.

But whats worse?
I submitted 8 other poems into the magazine, poems that were mine, that I was so proud of. And they didn't care.

The only way any one will ever look at my poems, is if they aren't even my own.

It just shows, I am worthless.
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~~Pixie

Golden Circle

Today's rant is about the "Golden Circle" yeah, you heard me.

Every school or workplace has them. That group of people that everyone loves. well, everyone that matters.
Such as Teachers and Employers, important, influential people.

The exact people that fall into the :golden Circles" trap.

You see, these golden people will always get what they want, simple because they are popular. Despite possible lack of skill and talent.

These people are the ones stealing opportunities away from people who deserve them. They are loved, so they get the job, or grade.

For example I was at my brothers graduation. Guess who won every award? That's right, those sickening golden group. Those5 people who all the teachers love.

I doesn't matter who is more talented or skillful, its ALL about charisma.

and who did the music for the assembly? the student who is actually going to music school? no. The one guy who has delusioned the entire school into believing he has talent. (which must be why he is going to Western to study Sciences)

I for one, absolutely hate these stupid golden people.

Because of them, no matter how hard I work, no matter how talented I am, I can never get a lead role in a play, or become the head of a club. I will ALWAYS be in the background, behind these stupid, egotistical golden circle.

Well, I would rant more (and I probably will in "Golden Circle Part II" which we all know is coming, But it IS almost 1:00 a.m. so I will go to bed now.

Tchuss!
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~~Pissed off Pixie

NEW POLICY!!!

OK, I have a new blogging policy(hopefully)!

I will, (hopefully) without fail, post at least ONE blog a week.....I hope, so check my blog every Friday from now on, and there will be at least ONE weekly (hopefully) post!!!!!!!!!!!

if I do not post, I promise, I will have a VERY valid explanation (hopefully).
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~~ Hopefull Policy Pixie

Let it Out

This is hard. I hate It.

Its like...the world stopped spinning, and its to heavy for me to push it back into orbit.

Like, I have no control over anything.

I hate it.

I feel completely helpless, because all I can do to help anyone is smile, and hope it will all be alright.

I'm sorry im so incredibly unspecific, I would rather not get into details, its just... one of those moment that you have to get your feeling out, and writing them down is my only way. And it sucks.

And i have so much to say, but i cant put any of it into words. And that of course just gets me more frustrated.

Oh, thats the emotion. frustration, thats what I feel.

Frustration over being helpless, and being pushed aside, and having to allow it because I dont know any other way to be.

And now i just got myself more annoyed.

God, this sucks. What the hell do I do?

I'm trying my hardest to be perfect for everyone, but I dont know any other way to make things better. Somebody help me.

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~~ frustrated pixie

Worlds Shortest Blog Post #2

I failed my exam....T_T


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~~Predict Me Pixie

Worlds Shortest Blog Post

I AM GOING TO FAIL MY EXAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SAVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


O.o

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~~Terrified Pixie

Intolerance II

Well, this has gotten on my nerves more and more! I mean, what the f*** does sexuality have to do with anything???

I mean...besides, you know, sexual stuff!

but why does everything come down to it? The world is filled with well hidden homophobes. everywhere!

and for the love of god! I sick of it!

Ill give you an example, it happened all of, two minutes ago.

I was watching a video of Bill Kaulitz (singer from tokio hotel, whom I ADORE) dancing out of boredom.

I was excited because it was cute so i made my dad watch it. And what was his immediate response?

"He is Gay, right?"


what the hell? why does dancing out of boredom make you gay?

ok, admitedly, he probably is. But still, what does it matter?
gay or straight, a person is a person!

and yet, that is the first thing anyone cares about!

and half the time, its not even justified!

i mean, so what if a guy wears eyeliner, or paints their nails, I mean if girls can dress like guys, then guys should be allowed to dress like girls!

Who are we to judge? as long as it looks good, what the problem?

and serisouly, I know plenty of guys who can pull of eye shadow better than most girls I know!

I'm just pissed that this seems to be the focus of everyones attention, always the first thing you judge about a person.

And i have to say, in a world like that, its no wonder so many people wont 'come out of the closet'. I know I probably wouldnt.

anyways......I dont know much else to say in my little rant.
well, comment please! You know I luv 'em!
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~~ Predict me Pixie

intolerance

I have been meaning to talk about this topic for a while

ever since, lets see, that last week of American idol....yah about then.
have you ever noticed how intolerant people are of gays? and other people too, intolerance is a huge topic, but lets focus on one section.

for instance, last week i was walking down the halls at my school when some guys were talking about who won American idol.

well their conversation went something like this:

Guy1: did you watch American idol last night?
Guy2: no, what happened?
1: oh the gay guy didn't win
2:which one is he?
1:you know the faggot who wore all the f*cking make up.

am I the only person who finds that offensive? and just the way they said it! as if he was disgusting!!!

i dont get it! what the hell do people have a problem with? What is so wrong about liking your own gender. I don't get it!

It isn't you're choice who you love, it doesn't change what kind of person you are.
All these people go on that its "against god". well, god is the one who decided who you love, if he chose it, how is it against it???

oh, and the fact they keep banning gay marriage? I just don't understand it! I got so angry while watching the news, with all these people saying how its "wrong" and "a perversion of nature".

give me a break!

If a man and woman can marry, why cant two men? or two women?
people are so wrapped up with what their parents taught them they don't realize there is NOTHING wrong with gay marriage.

love is love, it doesn't matter who! you might as well say a model cant marry a fat man...."its un-natural"

its bullshit

Every time I hear the word "fag" i want to punch someone. Maybe I'm taking too much offense, but it really pisses me off!

i absolutely hate people who are unexcepting and intolerant.

tell me what you think
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~~annoyed pixie

Anti-Orientation-Affiliated

Anti Orientration-Affiliated.

I never knew I could love a word so much. After all, this just made my life so much easier. I dont feel awquard about this anymore.
oh, "this" being sexuality.

would I sound weird if i said this has been a big deal for me? Because every so often i find my self liking people i maybe shouldn't. Of course, its not like i fell in love with anyone. It was like, you know, tiny crushes that last about a week.

And hopefully I'm not the only one who found themselves liking a lot of..differant...people.

gee, this is harder to write than I thought.

You see, I'm a very touchy-feely person. I love hugs, and if you let me I will hug you and never let go!

so naturally I make people wonder why I'm always clinging to people of my same gender. And, well, when people wonder, you wonder yourself.

And I figured if i look at every person i have ever REALLY liked, they are all my opposite gender. But, they are all metero sexuals.

So naturally, I concluded "well I guess I must be bi-sexual".

But then again, I'm not attracted to either gender in specific. I just, like who i like. gender is irrelevent.

and i have never tested this theory or anything, but i figure i must be "anti-orientation-affiliated"

and, this is the first time I've spoken about this, so its still awkward, but it feels good to classify myself as something.And feel right about that something!

and now all I have to do is press that little "post button" i can do this.
totally.
I'm not nervous.
THERE! i did it!
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~~satisfied pixe