Fear, Its always Fear

Don't you hate how afraid we are?

No, not of the dark.
And no, not of heights.
And no, not even of spiders.

I mean of... well, everything.

Every little thing we do, we're always afraid. We don't always notice it, but we are. We watch our words, afraid of offending someone or saying something that might cause someone's opinion of us to change, even if only by a tiny little bit. We're constantly biting our tongues to keep from saying the wrong thing, the wrong words.

We’re always walking on our tiptoes, watching our thoughts, and biting our tongues.

We’re scared.
We’re always scared.

Scared to say or do the wrong thing.
Scared of rejection.
Scared of offending someone.
Scared of letting someone see the real you.

Aren't we taught to grow up and overcome our fears? Don't they, our teachers, parents, and relatives, teach us to not be scared? Then why are we stuck in this state of constant fear? It's hypocritical, too. They teach us that we shouldn't be afraid, that we should see the light past our fears, and all the while they're sitting there in the corner, shaking in their boots over saying something wrong, not living up to expectations, or screwing up.

I think that's the biggest fear of all, screwing up.

But "screwing up" covers so much. There's so much we can screw up. We can screw up something as minor as a quiz and as major as someone's life. But I think we're all afraid of simply appearing as a screw up in the eyes of someone we hold near and dear. Losing respect, we always fear. We want respect nearly as much as we want love.

Love.

God, that's another big fear isn't it?

The fear of losing love.
The fear of falling in love.
The fear of never finding love.

There's always something to fear in the game of love. Am I doing something wrong? What if they don't like me? What's wrong with me? I wonder if they do like me? I hate being alone. Will I always be alone? I don't want to be like this, alone, forever. I couldn't take that. I can't take this. I'll never find love, I know it. Maybe love isn't meant for me. I'm just another helpless case…

Once we learn the word and notion of love, isn't it practically always in our mind somewhere? In some manner or another, I mean? And from that notion stems all of these fears that multiply every day…

… or maybe that's just me…

Anyway, I hate how afraid we all are.

We bottle up so much. So many feelings are hidden and kept secret forever, swept under a rug in our minds and left there for eternity. The honest words are usually the ones swooshed away to save us from screwing up, and the false words always tend to prevail.

It's sad, isn't it?

Shouldn't it be the other way around?

I think it should.

I'm not scared enough to keep from saying that.

~~The Sometimes Brave Pixie

a promise is a promise

you know how I said that I would ALWAYS post once a week? well a promise is a promise, here is your weekly post!

But I would like to clarify one thing, Although I promised to post something, I did not say it would be any good!

ABSOLUTELY nothing of interest has occured as of yet, so I have virtually nothing to talk about.

but never the less, here is my post.

ehem.

"I hate bugs"

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~~Predict Me Pixie

Worlds Shortest Blog Post #2

I failed my exam....T_T


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~~Predict Me Pixie

Intolerance II

Well, this has gotten on my nerves more and more! I mean, what the f*** does sexuality have to do with anything???

I mean...besides, you know, sexual stuff!

but why does everything come down to it? The world is filled with well hidden homophobes. everywhere!

and for the love of god! I sick of it!

Ill give you an example, it happened all of, two minutes ago.

I was watching a video of Bill Kaulitz (singer from tokio hotel, whom I ADORE) dancing out of boredom.

I was excited because it was cute so i made my dad watch it. And what was his immediate response?

"He is Gay, right?"


what the hell? why does dancing out of boredom make you gay?

ok, admitedly, he probably is. But still, what does it matter?
gay or straight, a person is a person!

and yet, that is the first thing anyone cares about!

and half the time, its not even justified!

i mean, so what if a guy wears eyeliner, or paints their nails, I mean if girls can dress like guys, then guys should be allowed to dress like girls!

Who are we to judge? as long as it looks good, what the problem?

and serisouly, I know plenty of guys who can pull of eye shadow better than most girls I know!

I'm just pissed that this seems to be the focus of everyones attention, always the first thing you judge about a person.

And i have to say, in a world like that, its no wonder so many people wont 'come out of the closet'. I know I probably wouldnt.

anyways......I dont know much else to say in my little rant.
well, comment please! You know I luv 'em!
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~~ Predict me Pixie