We had to write a slam poem, this was what came to me.
Some things are hard to say to a persons face, so i wrote this to get my feelings across. it was for a certain someone, but it applies to everyone.
---------------------
I want to help
I do
Stop messing with me
Why wont you just let me help you
Why do I constantly worry?
I want to know all your problems
But I don’t
I don’t want to hear them
I fear them
Fear what they will do to me
When they find me
And cause me to be anxious
Your well being
Is making me shudder
I want to fix it
But I'm not your mother
It’s not my place
I know
Don’t blame me
I just want what's best
What would I know?
Its you life not mine
You say your feeling fine
But I know your not
I want to be of service
But you push me away
My mind is going crazy
Everything is hazy
I'm in a maze
Filled with twists and turns
But they don’t mean a thing
All that is here is me
And you
You
Not just a face in the crowd
But beautiful significant you
Everything about you is amazing
You just don’t realize it
But I wish you did
I love you
I say this as a friend
No other way possible
You are everything, you say its nothing
Your blind
Don’t undermine your ability
With all this frivolity
You are perfect.
I'm not kidding like we do all the time
Having fake competitions
While trying to unwind
I never meant what I said then
I pray
Neither did you
Which is why I emphasize
That what is perfect, is you.
Mar 26, 2010
Jan 6, 2010
Fear, Its always Fear
Don't you hate how afraid we are?
No, not of the dark.
And no, not of heights.
And no, not even of spiders.
I mean of... well, everything.
Every little thing we do, we're always afraid. We don't always notice it, but we are. We watch our words, afraid of offending someone or saying something that might cause someone's opinion of us to change, even if only by a tiny little bit. We're constantly biting our tongues to keep from saying the wrong thing, the wrong words.
We’re always walking on our tiptoes, watching our thoughts, and biting our tongues.
We’re scared.
We’re always scared.
Scared to say or do the wrong thing.
Scared of rejection.
Scared of offending someone.
Scared of letting someone see the real you.
Aren't we taught to grow up and overcome our fears? Don't they, our teachers, parents, and relatives, teach us to not be scared? Then why are we stuck in this state of constant fear? It's hypocritical, too. They teach us that we shouldn't be afraid, that we should see the light past our fears, and all the while they're sitting there in the corner, shaking in their boots over saying something wrong, not living up to expectations, or screwing up.
I think that's the biggest fear of all, screwing up.
But "screwing up" covers so much. There's so much we can screw up. We can screw up something as minor as a quiz and as major as someone's life. But I think we're all afraid of simply appearing as a screw up in the eyes of someone we hold near and dear. Losing respect, we always fear. We want respect nearly as much as we want love.
Love.
God, that's another big fear isn't it?
The fear of losing love.
The fear of falling in love.
The fear of never finding love.
There's always something to fear in the game of love. Am I doing something wrong? What if they don't like me? What's wrong with me? I wonder if they do like me? I hate being alone. Will I always be alone? I don't want to be like this, alone, forever. I couldn't take that. I can't take this. I'll never find love, I know it. Maybe love isn't meant for me. I'm just another helpless case…
Once we learn the word and notion of love, isn't it practically always in our mind somewhere? In some manner or another, I mean? And from that notion stems all of these fears that multiply every day…
… or maybe that's just me…
Anyway, I hate how afraid we all are.
We bottle up so much. So many feelings are hidden and kept secret forever, swept under a rug in our minds and left there for eternity. The honest words are usually the ones swooshed away to save us from screwing up, and the false words always tend to prevail.
It's sad, isn't it?
Shouldn't it be the other way around?
I think it should.
I'm not scared enough to keep from saying that.
~~The Sometimes Brave Pixie
No, not of the dark.
And no, not of heights.
And no, not even of spiders.
I mean of... well, everything.
Every little thing we do, we're always afraid. We don't always notice it, but we are. We watch our words, afraid of offending someone or saying something that might cause someone's opinion of us to change, even if only by a tiny little bit. We're constantly biting our tongues to keep from saying the wrong thing, the wrong words.
We’re always walking on our tiptoes, watching our thoughts, and biting our tongues.
We’re scared.
We’re always scared.
Scared to say or do the wrong thing.
Scared of rejection.
Scared of offending someone.
Scared of letting someone see the real you.
Aren't we taught to grow up and overcome our fears? Don't they, our teachers, parents, and relatives, teach us to not be scared? Then why are we stuck in this state of constant fear? It's hypocritical, too. They teach us that we shouldn't be afraid, that we should see the light past our fears, and all the while they're sitting there in the corner, shaking in their boots over saying something wrong, not living up to expectations, or screwing up.
I think that's the biggest fear of all, screwing up.
But "screwing up" covers so much. There's so much we can screw up. We can screw up something as minor as a quiz and as major as someone's life. But I think we're all afraid of simply appearing as a screw up in the eyes of someone we hold near and dear. Losing respect, we always fear. We want respect nearly as much as we want love.
Love.
God, that's another big fear isn't it?
The fear of losing love.
The fear of falling in love.
The fear of never finding love.
There's always something to fear in the game of love. Am I doing something wrong? What if they don't like me? What's wrong with me? I wonder if they do like me? I hate being alone. Will I always be alone? I don't want to be like this, alone, forever. I couldn't take that. I can't take this. I'll never find love, I know it. Maybe love isn't meant for me. I'm just another helpless case…
Once we learn the word and notion of love, isn't it practically always in our mind somewhere? In some manner or another, I mean? And from that notion stems all of these fears that multiply every day…
… or maybe that's just me…
Anyway, I hate how afraid we all are.
We bottle up so much. So many feelings are hidden and kept secret forever, swept under a rug in our minds and left there for eternity. The honest words are usually the ones swooshed away to save us from screwing up, and the false words always tend to prevail.
It's sad, isn't it?
Shouldn't it be the other way around?
I think it should.
I'm not scared enough to keep from saying that.
~~The Sometimes Brave Pixie
OMG! TOTES INFECTED
So I know I complain a lot, but I've been on a kind of hiatus for a while so you haven't heard a real rant of mine in, well, basically half a year. You're long overdue for my complaints, aren't you? I think so. You have missed them, haven't you?
You better say yes. ;)
I know I've missed writing them. But, then again, I haven't had all that much to vent about lately. I mean, sure, there have been little things from time to time that I had to get off my chest, but those were too pathetic to post online. They only would've wasted your time, to be completely honest. It was nothing of interest to any of you, I'm sure. And they were almost a little too girly, even for me.
Anyway, you know what I hate?
Overly exaggerated people.
You know the ones I'm talking about. Those people who make a big deal out of something as small and insignificant as a crumb. Everything is amazing or OMG-worthy, and they always act so fucking surprised by everything. They're overly dramatic, too. They walk down the hall at school and every single friend they see they must run over and greet with a great big hug as if they haven't seen one another in decades.
Gag me with a spoon.
They're so flaky and fake acting and ugh!
Everything they do is so over exaggerated that you never know when to take them seriously.
And have you noticed that these kinds of people "LOVE" everything? OMG, LIKE REALLY THEY TOTES DO!
Yah, well, I love my Internet.
Or, I mean, I TOTES LOVE MY INTERNET, OMG!! I HAVEN'T SEEN IT IN, LIKE, FOREVER, OMG!!
-_-"
~~Infected Pixie
You better say yes. ;)
I know I've missed writing them. But, then again, I haven't had all that much to vent about lately. I mean, sure, there have been little things from time to time that I had to get off my chest, but those were too pathetic to post online. They only would've wasted your time, to be completely honest. It was nothing of interest to any of you, I'm sure. And they were almost a little too girly, even for me.
Anyway, you know what I hate?
Overly exaggerated people.
You know the ones I'm talking about. Those people who make a big deal out of something as small and insignificant as a crumb. Everything is amazing or OMG-worthy, and they always act so fucking surprised by everything. They're overly dramatic, too. They walk down the hall at school and every single friend they see they must run over and greet with a great big hug as if they haven't seen one another in decades.
Gag me with a spoon.
They're so flaky and fake acting and ugh!
Everything they do is so over exaggerated that you never know when to take them seriously.
And have you noticed that these kinds of people "LOVE" everything? OMG, LIKE REALLY THEY TOTES DO!
Yah, well, I love my Internet.
Or, I mean, I TOTES LOVE MY INTERNET, OMG!! I HAVEN'T SEEN IT IN, LIKE, FOREVER, OMG!!
-_-"
~~Infected Pixie
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