So yesterday I was walking around town, to nowhere in particular, just… wandering to pass the time, and I kept seeing one thing over and over and over again.
Couples. EVERYWHERE.
Honest to God, I’d blink once and open my eyes only to see another couple of lovebirds so sucked up into their gagging kisses that they wouldn’t even realize if a plane fell out of the sky and crashed nose down into the ground right next to them. They’re so caught up in their supposed love that they’re basically yelling, “Fuck the rest of the world! We’re in love!” without ever saying a word. It’s like as long as they have each other within reach, then they’re good to go.
Shoot. Me. Now.
Okay, well don’t shoot, but seriously, sometimes all that PDA out there makes me want to topple over and die. For all of you un-cool people who don’t know what the term “PDA” stands for, it means: Public Displays of Affection. But just kidding, you’re not un-cool.
But anyways, where was I, oh, yeah, PDA.
Yes, go, run around and show the world that you love each other, but please, be considerate.
Not everyone wants to see you two sucking mouth when we turn a street corner.
So stop parading your love around in the faces of us poor innocent freaks who can’t seem to find such happiness; you only bring our hopes down even more.
And yes, I may be young and naïve, being that I’m still a teenager trying to fight my way out of high school, but I’ve seen my fair-share of relationships hitting the all time high and crashing and burning within five year’s time.
It happens; life happens; shit happens.
Love dies.
Way too often, and according to statistics, the rate of love dying seems to be growing.
What if divorce was still illegal?
Imagine what life would be like then. I mean would so many couples still jump on the chance for marriage?
I don’t know what I’m even ranting about anymore.
I guess I just hate to see relationships end and all.
Hmm, maybe that’s why I’m so sour on love. Honestly, I am. I’m so… stiff when it comes to being open with my feelings that I turn down so many opportunities for love. I don’t walk around with my heart on my sleeve. Instead I have it tucked away deep inside of me where no one can seem to play with it. Ever. And for some reason that makes me such a freak because I’d rather sit around with my feelings bottled up inside of me versus walking down the hallway and blowing kisses to every one I see.
Well, I won’t keep rambling on my feelings about love; that can fill up an entire post all its own. Maybe I’ll talk about it sometime in the future, but maybe not.
Humph. I’m out.
I’ve got a shit-load of homework to get to, so leave some love in the comments.
Yeah, you know how to do it.
Go ahead.
Click the little link.
It’s not too hard. Go on… Click!
Ah, there you go. But I love you lurkers… you crack me up. =) .
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~~sour pixie of love
Jan 27, 2009
Jan 25, 2009
Left Out?
Have you ever felt embarrassed? like, really embarrassed....well, maybe embarrassed isn't quite the right word. awkward maybe? no, not quite...just out of place, as if, you don't belong at all.
I mean, of course, i have never really belonged, but, to not belong in your own house? surrounded by your own family?
My sister, well, she has always been quiet, well, at least when in front of people, and my brother, well hes kinda awkward (not in a bad way, a really really cute way). My father, now HE is awkward, he just cant stand silence, he doesn't understand the meaning of a comfortable silence, at all! and my mom, who sadly, cant express any emotion successfully other than disappointment and cynicism.
Every dinner time, since i was two, has been quiet, and fast. this is what we called our "family time". Some family time! we rarely spoke to each other, if someone tried to talk, it either resulted in some sort of argument, caused by some stupid misunderstanding, or nothing!
really, nothing! we walked in, ate, and left!
It has been like that as long as i can remember!
There was one time, that i invited my friend over for dinner, it was so quiet at the table, i was embarrassed, i couldn't wait to get me and my friend away. Those times with my friends, those were the only times i noticed the quiet. Other than that, it was just, family respecting family.
Soon i became quiet myself, well in public at least. I was a total pushover. I idolized my friends who could stand up for themselves, people who could talk, and have others listen. I knew that i would never be like that.
well, until i made it into high school. I made new friends, friends who are equals! These new friends actually let me talk, they listened! suddenly, i started to really notice the quiet. I hated not being able to talk like I had with my friends!
Just like, say, a person was kept in a box their whole life. The box is all they ever knew, they would never question the box. Until one day someone takes away the box, suddenly they can see the whole world! and now, they will never return to the box!
and what will happen if that person is stuck back inside? They will feel trapped! claustrophobic!
yup, that's me!
I'm stuck in a tiny box, only allowed out, seven hours a day for school. Then i am stuffed back in the box.
I haven't had a friends over for dinner since i was 12. hell, sometimes i wish i didn't have to come for dinner. I LOVE the days that i can just eat whenever i feel, when my family is out and I'm in charge. the days that my friends can come over, just to hang. where we can all order pizza. Where we can all talk as loud as we want and no one cares!
I wish someone understood that. It seems no one does.
Am I totally alone here? really?
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~~ Mournful Pixie
I mean, of course, i have never really belonged, but, to not belong in your own house? surrounded by your own family?
My sister, well, she has always been quiet, well, at least when in front of people, and my brother, well hes kinda awkward (not in a bad way, a really really cute way). My father, now HE is awkward, he just cant stand silence, he doesn't understand the meaning of a comfortable silence, at all! and my mom, who sadly, cant express any emotion successfully other than disappointment and cynicism.
Every dinner time, since i was two, has been quiet, and fast. this is what we called our "family time". Some family time! we rarely spoke to each other, if someone tried to talk, it either resulted in some sort of argument, caused by some stupid misunderstanding, or nothing!
really, nothing! we walked in, ate, and left!
It has been like that as long as i can remember!
There was one time, that i invited my friend over for dinner, it was so quiet at the table, i was embarrassed, i couldn't wait to get me and my friend away. Those times with my friends, those were the only times i noticed the quiet. Other than that, it was just, family respecting family.
Soon i became quiet myself, well in public at least. I was a total pushover. I idolized my friends who could stand up for themselves, people who could talk, and have others listen. I knew that i would never be like that.
well, until i made it into high school. I made new friends, friends who are equals! These new friends actually let me talk, they listened! suddenly, i started to really notice the quiet. I hated not being able to talk like I had with my friends!
Just like, say, a person was kept in a box their whole life. The box is all they ever knew, they would never question the box. Until one day someone takes away the box, suddenly they can see the whole world! and now, they will never return to the box!
and what will happen if that person is stuck back inside? They will feel trapped! claustrophobic!
yup, that's me!
I'm stuck in a tiny box, only allowed out, seven hours a day for school. Then i am stuffed back in the box.
I haven't had a friends over for dinner since i was 12. hell, sometimes i wish i didn't have to come for dinner. I LOVE the days that i can just eat whenever i feel, when my family is out and I'm in charge. the days that my friends can come over, just to hang. where we can all order pizza. Where we can all talk as loud as we want and no one cares!
I wish someone understood that. It seems no one does.
Am I totally alone here? really?
------------------------------------
~~ Mournful Pixie
Jan 23, 2009
I cant believe it. I mean, its not like i HAVENT been talking about since two months ago!
well, i was picking my courses for the next year of high school, but i forgot to get my sheet signed. This morning though when I showed my parents, guess what? they suddenly told me to take another course. to skip my spare and drop a class next year if i really want to. guess what? I know which class I want to take, SAP (sociology, anthropology,psychology) is not one of them!
and seriously? why the hell wait until the morning after picking courses to tell me this?
I have talked about this since.....lets see.....gr.9? I chose the courses that i chose for a reason! i have absolutely no intention of changing them either! i WILL drop SAP, just you wait, a year from now you will be reading about my decision to drop it!
anyways, i have to go to school...ill post again tonight.
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~~pissed off pixie
well, i was picking my courses for the next year of high school, but i forgot to get my sheet signed. This morning though when I showed my parents, guess what? they suddenly told me to take another course. to skip my spare and drop a class next year if i really want to. guess what? I know which class I want to take, SAP (sociology, anthropology,psychology) is not one of them!
and seriously? why the hell wait until the morning after picking courses to tell me this?
I have talked about this since.....lets see.....gr.9? I chose the courses that i chose for a reason! i have absolutely no intention of changing them either! i WILL drop SAP, just you wait, a year from now you will be reading about my decision to drop it!
anyways, i have to go to school...ill post again tonight.
--------------------------------------------------------
~~pissed off pixie
Jan 22, 2009
BIG FAT MOUTH
me and my big mouth! I just cant keep it shut can I?
you see.....i haven't exactly told anyone about this blog yet... but hello! i don't think they want to know what i might write in here....there is a reason i never post info!
but then they asked me about my night.....and of course, in all my massive wisdom....i mentioned the blog.
I'm a genius right? ....please don't reply to that!
anyways, as soon as i let it slide they went on the Internet and started searching for it...thank GOD they didn't find it! well, yet T_T
But what is so appealing about reading this? I don't try to read their diaries!
but i swear they spent almost an hour interrogating me!
i think i may kill them one day!
why are people so obsessed with other people's lives? is it human nature to be nosy?
if I had never let that slip, they would have never asked about it! not that i mind them reading this....its just....not in front of me, i don't want to see their reactions!
well? what do you think? sure, this is meant to be read, but, their is a point to anonymity (is that a word?) well, am i supposed to show this to them? do i really want them to read this?
comment please!
-----------------------
~~perplexed pixie
you see.....i haven't exactly told anyone about this blog yet... but hello! i don't think they want to know what i might write in here....there is a reason i never post info!
but then they asked me about my night.....and of course, in all my massive wisdom....i mentioned the blog.
I'm a genius right? ....please don't reply to that!
anyways, as soon as i let it slide they went on the Internet and started searching for it...thank GOD they didn't find it! well, yet T_T
But what is so appealing about reading this? I don't try to read their diaries!
but i swear they spent almost an hour interrogating me!
i think i may kill them one day!
why are people so obsessed with other people's lives? is it human nature to be nosy?
if I had never let that slip, they would have never asked about it! not that i mind them reading this....its just....not in front of me, i don't want to see their reactions!
well? what do you think? sure, this is meant to be read, but, their is a point to anonymity (is that a word?) well, am i supposed to show this to them? do i really want them to read this?
comment please!
-----------------------
~~perplexed pixie
IM NOT GAY
ok, im sure you all have had it happen to you.
You say a stupid comment and people suddenly think you are hiding something.
so of course, what is the next course of action? you deny it!
what else?
well, as we all know...that doesnt help...at all....
Today was one of MANY occasions that this seems to have occured, yes many. Clearly i dont pick my words very carefully!
ANYWAYS! i might as well tell you exactly what happened...where do i start?
i guess the begining..... well when a man and woman meet, and they reeeaaallly love each other.....too early?
sorry, guess i got carried away :P
well this morning i was sitting in class, talking to my two friends, lets call them....Thing 1 and Thing 2...sound good? ok
The conversation went as such...
Thing 1- oh you would be perfect for my cousin
Thing 2- dont bother setting them up, no one is ever good enough
Me- That's not true!
Thing 2- oh right, i forgot, you are only interested in metrosexuals!
Me-.....so?
ok.....just to clarify i wasnt agreeing with Thing 2! ...just not acknowledging their statement...there is a differance!
As the conversation advanced (still on the assumption i prefer metros) i tried to explain myself, which ended in the statement "OOHH!!!!! so you are gay!" -_- no...im not...after all, I think I would know! I can clearly realize who im attracted to!
It seems pretty obvious, everytime my eyes drift to the wrong part of the person im looking at......oh dont judge me, its hormones!
but i guess im not 100% straight....I may be physically attracted to one sex, but i am mentally attracted to the other! i cant help it!
i mean....some people are gross! i want someone caring, and understanding, and.......is it just me or am I starting to sound like a hopeless romantic....damn
...so what defines straight/gay? sure i guess if i kiss someone and see if i like it then i will know .....but there are plenty of times that even the straightest player may be turned on by another guy.
so why bother experimenting and wasting my first kiss? it seems pretty pointless!
why does this topic even seem so important? what should it matter anyways? why does the world seem to think that being gay/straight is so scandalous? I just dont get it, hell i dont think half the world gets it!
am i making any sense here? im becoming a little skeptical if this online journal was such a great idea....sure, none of you know me, you cant judge me...(well you can, but you would all be stupid!....no im joking i love you all) but none of the words i wanted to say are coming out......damn i suck at this!
Maybe i should try again later......i have homework to do after all....blah stupid homework!!!! ok! goodbye people! thanx for reading...i guess :P comment please! comments make me feel loved! :)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
~~Predict Me Pixie
You say a stupid comment and people suddenly think you are hiding something.
so of course, what is the next course of action? you deny it!
what else?
well, as we all know...that doesnt help...at all....
Today was one of MANY occasions that this seems to have occured, yes many. Clearly i dont pick my words very carefully!
ANYWAYS! i might as well tell you exactly what happened...where do i start?
i guess the begining..... well when a man and woman meet, and they reeeaaallly love each other.....too early?
sorry, guess i got carried away :P
well this morning i was sitting in class, talking to my two friends, lets call them....Thing 1 and Thing 2...sound good? ok
The conversation went as such...
Thing 1- oh you would be perfect for my cousin
Thing 2- dont bother setting them up, no one is ever good enough
Me- That's not true!
Thing 2- oh right, i forgot, you are only interested in metrosexuals!
Me-.....so?
ok.....just to clarify i wasnt agreeing with Thing 2! ...just not acknowledging their statement...there is a differance!
As the conversation advanced (still on the assumption i prefer metros) i tried to explain myself, which ended in the statement "OOHH!!!!! so you are gay!" -_- no...im not...after all, I think I would know! I can clearly realize who im attracted to!
It seems pretty obvious, everytime my eyes drift to the wrong part of the person im looking at......oh dont judge me, its hormones!
but i guess im not 100% straight....I may be physically attracted to one sex, but i am mentally attracted to the other! i cant help it!
i mean....some people are gross! i want someone caring, and understanding, and.......is it just me or am I starting to sound like a hopeless romantic....damn
...so what defines straight/gay? sure i guess if i kiss someone and see if i like it then i will know .....but there are plenty of times that even the straightest player may be turned on by another guy.
so why bother experimenting and wasting my first kiss? it seems pretty pointless!
why does this topic even seem so important? what should it matter anyways? why does the world seem to think that being gay/straight is so scandalous? I just dont get it, hell i dont think half the world gets it!
am i making any sense here? im becoming a little skeptical if this online journal was such a great idea....sure, none of you know me, you cant judge me...(well you can, but you would all be stupid!....no im joking i love you all) but none of the words i wanted to say are coming out......damn i suck at this!
Maybe i should try again later......i have homework to do after all....blah stupid homework!!!! ok! goodbye people! thanx for reading...i guess :P comment please! comments make me feel loved! :)
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~~Predict Me Pixie
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