confession

Confessing is hard. Sometimes, things happen that weren't supposed to. Sometimes, things just get out of hand, and it becomes hard to stop it.

Well, I did manage to end my problem. And let me tell you, it hurts like hell.

You see, In English class we were working on our poetry unit. and I LOVE poetry. Our teacher wanted us to write a poem in class, and usually I have no problem with this, but for some reason, I couldn't think. So i took a song that was in my head and made some stupid changes, and voila . a poem.

The thing is everyone loved it. My teacher made me submit it into our school literary magazine, he was offering extra marks, so I said yes.

Well, the magazine was entered into some contest, we didn't win but the magazine which our school magazine was submitted to loved my poem to.
So they asked to use it in their next issue of their magazine.

That's when things got out of hand. Because, I really wanted to say yes!

you know, just because I wanted to feel special. who doesn't?

But i kept thinking, what if someone finds out? what if they know it wasn't mine?

so i told the magazine fine, use my poem, but let it stay anonymous. I thought, if I did that, no one would know.

Then I told my mom that i was planning to submit it anonymously, and she said I shouldn't because I would be missing out on alot of opportunities.

So i asked my dad. and he said "well, was it original?"

and that's all it took.

I confessed, and told him everything.

And it was really hard, because it makes you feel incredibly worthless. then i had to go, and email back the magazine that I wouldn't let them use the poem. And I just felt so stupid. And I hate it.

But whats worse?
I submitted 8 other poems into the magazine, poems that were mine, that I was so proud of. And they didn't care.

The only way any one will ever look at my poems, is if they aren't even my own.

It just shows, I am worthless.
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~~Pixie